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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758210">Once Upon a Time - Or Maybe Twice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinchun/pseuds/sinchun'>sinchun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous Relationships, Bittersweet Ending, Canon Compliant, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Sentimental, vague 'ho homo' themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:35:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinchun/pseuds/sinchun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The sunlight momentarily illuminated Doyoung’s dark hair in a brilliant halo, and Taeyong blinked. “You looked beautiful,” he said. “Just then, I mean. I, uh… never mind. It’s silly.”</p><p>But Doyoung nodded in understanding. “Crystallization,” he said. “When a brief, but perfect, moment solidifies itself in your brain.”</p><p>“Are you talking about now, or Bangkok?” asked Taeyong.</p><p>Doyoung ignored him. “And you spend the rest of your life trying to recreate the moment, but you can’t.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Once Upon a Time - Or Maybe Twice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The next installment of my pack series is coming along a little more slowly than I had anticipated, so in the meantime here's an unrelated short dotae ficlet about uhhh repressing your feelings? Unclear.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doyoung had bought the wooden figurine at a souvenir shop in Los Angeles, back in 2018. Carved in the likeness of a rabbit, Taeyong had been the one to point it out to him, because everyone always compared Doyoung to the animal. Taeyong had pouted and pleaded until the younger man gave in and purchased it, tucking the souvenir into his bag with the promise to give it to Taeyong later.</p><p>“How much later?” Taeyong had asked, and Doyoung had smiled, soft and teasing.</p><p>“Later,” he insisted with a vague wave of his hand.</p><p>Today, the rabbit figurine sits on Taeyong’s desk with another gift from Doyoung looped over one ear whenever Taeyong isn’t wearing the Cartier ring.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It started in Bangkok, remembers Taeyong.</p><p>No, wait. That’s a lie. It started back in 2013, when they were still teenagers, when he promised Doyoung that he’d give him a handjob if the younger boy hadn’t lost his virginity by the time they debuted.</p><p>It happened in Bangkok, almost three years later, when Ten had taken Johnny out to see some movie, and Jaehyun had gone to bed early. Taeyong and Doyoung were left to their own devices in the hotel room they shared, with nothing but a couple of hours to kill before bed and more than a few cheap Thai beers.</p><p>Taeyong was thoroughly inebriated when he remembered his promise to Doyoung, and, trying to recall the Thai lessons Ten had given them, flubbed his way through talking dirty Thai to a slightly less drunk Doyoung, who had paid enough attention to Ten’s lessons figure out what Taeyong was trying to say.</p><p>“Fuck off, hyung,” he protested, flushing a dark red. “I’m not gay.”</p><p>“It’s not gay if you pretend that I’m a girl.”</p><p>Doyoung laughed, but a hesitant frown lingered on his face. “You <em>are</em> pretty enough to be one,” he admitted nervously. “Still pretty gay though.” Then he made the fatal mistake of looking at Taeyong.</p><p>Taeyong mindlessly licked his lips, and Doyoung was gone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>They only talked about it once, another two years later when they were in the United States for the first time.</p><p>Haechan had dragged the group to a tarot-card reader who had spouted some woo-woo nonsense about seizing the day of your future and becoming one with yourself by accepting your past, if Mark’s translations were to be believed. Those interested in continuing their soul-searching quest, led by Taeil, opted to go for a walk around the city, and the rest returned to the hotel.</p><p>While Taeyong, Yuta, Jaehyun, and Winwin set up a card game in the latter’s room, Doyoung wanted some time alone, a moment of peace. In his own hotel room, he took out a book and sat in front of the window, the curtains pulled back, enjoying the gentle sunshine on his face as he lost track of time.</p><p>“There you are.” The words were spoken before Doyoung realized that he was no longer alone.</p><p>He turned to see Taeyong standing in the hotel room with him. “Here I am,” he agreed, but Taeyong didn’t move.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking,” Taeyong said. “About what that psychic said, about confronting the skeletons in your closet in order to find true inner peace. And, um…” His voice trailed off uncertainly.</p><p>Doyoung raised his eyebrows at him. “Yes?”</p><p>“And I want to, uh… talk about, um… that one time in Bangkok,” finished a blushing Taeyong, eyes wide and vulnerable.</p><p>“What about it?”</p><p>“Well, it… it was bullshit,” Taeyong stammered out.</p><p>Doyoung narrowed his eyes at that. “Because we’re not gay?” he asked bitingly.</p><p>“No, I mean… the whole pretending you were a girl thing,” said Taeyong in a hollow voice. “I… I really liked you, Doyoungie.”</p><p>Doyoung nodded in simple acceptance. “I desired you,” he said, shocking Taeyong.</p><p>“I… still desire you,” croaked out Taeyong, and it was Doyoung’s turn to be surprised.</p><p>His brown eyes widened and he turned slightly, so that the sunlight filtering in through the window momentarily illuminated his dark hair in a brilliant halo.</p><p>Taeyong blinked. “You looked beautiful,” he said. “Just then, I mean. I, uh… never mind. It’s silly.”</p><p>But Doyoung nodded in understanding. “Crystallization,” he said. “When a brief, but perfect, moment solidifies itself in your brain.”</p><p>“Are you talking about now, or Bangkok?” asked Taeyong.</p><p>Doyoung ignored him. “And you spend the rest of your life trying to recreate the moment, but you can’t.”</p><p>Taeyong frowned. “But,” he began, “if I kissed now, would you kiss me back?”</p><p>Doyoung smiled, and it seemed an invitation, so Taeyong kissed him. And Doyoung kissed him back.</p><p>Taeyong’s hands slipped inside Doyoung’s clothing and his tongue into his mouth, and they sprawled onto the bed, tangled together. Doyoung remembered to steal lube and a condom from Yuta’s luggage, and Taeyong remembered the way Doyoung felt, writhing beneath him in pleasure.</p><p>Doyoung, who he never touched like that ever again.</p><p>Doyoung, who had worried about the others hearing their shouts and moans.</p><p>Doyoung, who reached out to grab something from the bedside table to bite down on to muffle his cry as he came.</p><p>Doyoung, who he had always loved in his own enduring quiescent way.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Taeyong runs his fingers over the rabbit, feels the indent of Doyoung’s teeth in the wood, and knows that he will keep it forever.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://sinchun.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> if you want to yell at me on anon</p></blockquote></div></div>
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